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Watch out, East Coast denizens. Winter Storm Jonas is on the way, preparing to blanket the Northeast in snow and ice from Northern Virginia all the way up through New York state.

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But another storm approaches, too—a blizzard of furious, anonymous sex. Starting on Wednesday, residents of major East Coast cities began to panic about whether the coming snowfall might trap them in a sexless, lonely spate of isolation for an entire weekend. Naturally, they took to Craigslist in droves to postseeking blizzard buddies for hours of snowed-in screwing around.

Forecast in.

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Looks like we all getting snowed in. Fear not, dear girl s! Myself and another comrade will help you survive storm this weekend.

With vodka and to start festivities, we do more fun later. Unlike storm, our inches guaranteed and warm. We want no one suffer in this mess, so come and bring friend or two if you want. This going to be small party, so please do not bring more male comrades, only nice devotchkas.

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Please send to ask question or share picture. We like that.


Look forward to see you this Saturday or Sunday. A young man in a superhero costume searched for a partner in New Jerseyoffering his Netflix and ability to chill in addition to snowflakes and flurries.

There are 4 local girls in Frederick, Maryland that want to meet you for casual sex now!

Other adventurous sex fans posted helpful lists of the non-coital features they had to offer during the chilly weekend. If u want it I got it treat yourself you may need this u may need that. Perhaps the most successful Craigslist ad, though, is the one that keeps it short and to the point.

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